4 Months in..

I haven't written anything in a while, but I think its about time that I start...

Things have been...wild here in California. I can't explain it any other way really. The emotional rollercoaster I have been on seems never ending, just when I think the ride has come to stop and I begin to unbuckle my seat belt...BAM. There I go. Up that hill again and around new twists and turns that I swear were never there before.  It has been four months and I have yet to land myself an animation job and now, when I start up the search again, I get so quickly defeated at the lack of response that I get depressed from even trying. But I try to press onward. I stop for a weeks and then start up randomly. It's just hard to put your all into something when you're getting nothing back in return. I think I only received one e-mail from all of the companies and positions that I applied for. One. It was a rejection, but I was just thrilled to know that I really am sending these out to human beings! I have my Toys R Us job, which is pretty chill (except for a lot of the guests this time of year. Hooooly grumps! Its the holidays people, perk up!) and I love all of the people I work with. Everyone is just so fun and friendly that it makes the job way less dreadful to go to. But, I still dread it. Just because I'm disappointed in myself for not getting something in my field. I know its a tough market right now, but that will not stop me from being hard on myself. Although, I wish I wasn't..

Besides that, my homesickness REFUSES to leave me. I think it may just be because its Christmas time and I'm pretty alone out here with no snow and nothing to make me feel all warm and Christmas-y. But it could just be that I'm depressed, I feel useless, and I feel completely alone for a good chunk of everyday. Thank heavens I'm starting to work mostly 8 hour shifts 5 days a week! Seriously though, I can't snap out of this. One day I'm fine and I'm so proud of myself for doing all of this all, on my own, and for the next two days I'm a weep ball of sadness that's constantly on the verge of tears and continually requesting to go home or to see her family.  I need something to happen soon. I keep wondering if I really am meant to live so far away from home. And I keep wondering what will become of Nick and I if this cycle continues. I'm dreadfully afraid of what might happen for us in the future, but I have to keep telling myself that things all happen for a reason and that everything will fall into place somewhere down the road. I just have to keep plugging along. Or...something like that

Some good news is that I have gotten a few Christmas cards, which definitely made me feel loved and Nicolaus was up a few weeks ago. We had a blast and saw and did a lot of super fun things. I should have written about that, however I sort of forgot that Blogspot existed. OOPS! Also, in less than two weeks I'll be home in Rochacha again for about 10 days or so. I really can't wait to see the family..I just don't know how I am going to bring myself to leave it all!

Ah well, until next time!

Settled in

Aouhdwualiuwqilfgh...I'm finally (almost) completely completely moved in in the valley here in Los Angeles, CA. The only thing left to do is find a flippin job, hopefully in animation though I'll take anything about now.

The past few weeks have been an up and down emotional ride mostly stemming from extreme homesickness and a feeling of failure from not being able to find a job and just sitting on my butt all day (productively of course, filling out applications and such, but it's still sitting around). Hoping it starts to feel like home soon.

BUT. I'm so excited. Its been fall for awhile now, although 100+ temperatures don't really make it feel as such, and I have been really wanting to do fall type things. The issue is that I am in LA and apparently farms are scarce out here or something, weird right? However, I think I may have found a place and...crossing my fingers that they might also have some home made cider on hand as well as candy apples. We'll know in a few weeks when I go pumpkin picking. If you dress up the last weekend of October, admission into the festival there is free too- guess who'll be pumpkin picking as a jellyfish? This girl! Haha now I have to get better about updating this, since everywhere I go will be considered traveling, being in a new place and all!

Til next time

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Changes

Welp...Things have changed quite a bit from my last post. I will soon be headed over to the West Coast to live in Cali with my Uncle!!! Hopefully things will go smoothly (though, do they ever?) and I'll find an animation job quickly, be able to afford my own place to live- so I can get Meems and Cadence back into my arms sooooon, and enjoy my new life.

I am mainly filled with feelings that involve extreme terror and extreme sadness, the excitement wearing off the closer and closer the trip actually gets. I'm going to miss so many people (and bunnies and kitties!) and I've never really and truly lived away from home before. Especially not this far away!

Right now I am trying to sleep, though not doing a very good job, as I'm going on my last family camping trip for quite some time in the morning.  Hopefully I will be learning how to fish and some other fun camping things, but we'll see. It will be nice to be out camping though, I miss the outdoors- especially the 1000 Islands- a lot.

I guess I should catch some sleep so I can be rested for the drive!

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I don't know if you have noticed, but I am terribly awful at updating all of my blogs. I guess I just don't lead a very busy, fun, or interesting life.

I have, however, been planning for quite a few trips. Although, most of these will not be coming to fruition for a couple years.

I have been only slightly planning for a trip to NYC in March that may or may not happen, but will mainly be used to scout for neighborhoods that I like and to get an idea on the apartment market. Just in case the job search eventually takes me there. Althooooough, I am really hoping that the job search will take me to sunny California.

Next trip will (hopefully) be for 2015 or 16. It will be my DREAM trip- JAPAN FOR 1 MONTH! I would really like to stay for a year, but this will be just fine for right now. Surprisingly its less that paying for one week of Australian fun for two people, but that's what happens when you "downgrade" your hotel and go  for the traditional Japanese inn (Ryokan) route!

I'm so freakin pumped that I have not been able to fall asleep very quickly at night...which is ridiculous since both trips are rather far away. But I am planning and planning and....oh yeah, planning like CRAZY.